Gloves Off !

I drive a diesel powered car.

Please don’t hassle me about “pollution” this and “particulates” that… It is a very reasonable and economical vehicle – so there!

Amongst the budget reviews and cut-backs that are affecting us all at the moment, there is one “money saving initiative” that hits us derv drivers directly where it hurts… Or at least where it smells.

A few years ago (perhaps it was 10 or 15) diesel was seen as a “wonderfuel” that could save money and the environment. The quality motor manufacturers invested huge sums in developing quieter and more sporty diesel engines to power their Saabs and Mercs. What was once the unique tell tale sign of a truck driver, became a symbol of the young executive who “chose diesel for my company car because it is the intelligent alternative…”  I am, of course, talking about smelly, oily hands.

The oil companies were quick to spot this problem and issued free plastic gloves to prevent your nice leather steering wheel becoming permeated with fossil fuel residue. These gloves were fantastic. So much so they were worth taking home by the handful. Yes… these were true glory days in our household as not a penny was wasted on Marigolds.

Sadly, just like your favourite restaurant that goes downhill or your pop-idol who gets fat and bald – these days were destined not to last. Penny pinching cut backs have made the experience of topping up my turbo diesel a time of true trauma.

Where we used to have plastic gloves of real substance, ones that would last, we now have flimsy pieces of cellophane – so thin they could make condoms out of them.

Not that you’d want a condom made like these so called “gloves”.

Here’s why. Their thinness makes it impossible for you to slip them on easily. Many’s the time I’ve stood in a force 6 gale and driving rain for two or three minutes trying to get one of these buggers on. A real petrol pump passion killer I can tell you.

Quality is also a major issue. They are supposed to prevent your hands getting dirty. Yet it has been at  least a year since I used one that didn’t split when I put it on (just to be clear I am talking gloves!).

The packaging is even shoddier. This means you cannot remove one glove from the box at a time. You can remove a minimum of three – five if it is windy. Not wishing to leave litter everywhere I then have to spend more time chasing all over the forecourt, dodging cars and trucks, as they get blown in all directions by the wind.

Recently I saw a glimmer of hope for my problem. On visiting a local service station my fingers tingled with excitement as I casually groped for a glove. I felt some real thick quality plastic!

I pulled it slowly from the dispenser. It oozed out with ease and on its own too.

I held it up to admire it. In my heart there was a strong feeling of hope that somewhere, someone cared enough to value the protection of my pinkies proudly above a few pennies profit.

Alas – that moment of joy was short lived. These were not gloves at all.

They were bloody sandwich bags. No place for my fingers. Just a square bag barely big enough to fit my hand in!

I paused for a moment, put this pointless bag back in its dispenser and then…

Realising we needed some sandwich-bags I grabbed a handful and sped off home.

The glory days are back!

Marc